This is going to be fairly different from my other posts. I'm not sharing a story or giving advice. I'm just going to... confess? Vent? Below are somethings that sometimes float through my head regarding my disability/having O.I. but I always slam them down. Mute them. I power bomb these thoughts to smithereens before they ever get close to my lips. I routinely snatch them off the diving board of my tongue before they leap out into the world... and I hear it's not always good to keep things bottled inside so here we go: (can you tell this is difficult for me to do? Because it is. I am cringing, like someone is lifting a freshly broken bone)
1. I am jealous you're able-bodied. Actually I hate the 'normal' view of the world you get, the naturalness in which you can just flail your body around, and the way you can just collapse into a freshly sprinkled summer lawn after running your 3-5miles a day.
2. What the hell are you staring at? If I ruled the world I would have run your face over five times by now.
3. Could you be moving any slower? Seriously, not all of us function at this pathetic walking-pace. MOVE. I have places to be and things to do.
4. Go ahead, keep telling me that I'm "not missing much" because I can't get all the way up those stairs. You're only digging yourself deeper into a lie 'cuz I wasn't born yesterday.
5. I'm laughing at your disabled/wheelchair joke because you expect me to. Usually these jokes are dumb as hell to me and not funny at all. But I'm laughing because I'm already socially awkward enough and... everyone else is laughing? And when I make those jokes it's funny because they're true.
.... PHEW. Well, that was interesting to get off my shoulders. I lived and it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be!
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1. I'm actually not and think it's because I've always been sidelined from the team sports they've played and become comfortable with... well, being sidelined. So what if they can, it's not like they're taking anything away from me. It's just life and that's it.
ReplyDelete2. I'm not as mean as you in this case, even if I sometimes think I'm much more. I guess it varies by the situation. Of course they stare. I stare people with wheelchairs, too (in the eye). I know you do too. So what? It's out of the ordinary. Don't know if the thought process is the same, but in my head it's "I wonder what medical condition he/she's got being in a chair". The chair is always the first to think about. The girl has to be SUPER CUTE in order for me to think "man dunno, but I wish there was a way to get on a date with her/inside her panties" before "I wonder what her medical condition is". Like usually with people, you don't have to ask the latter.
3. Very seldom have this problem. My wheels move fast, but I've got turtleish patience. Maybe it's the nature of you and a whole lot of others too. Just not mine.
4. I've never thought I'd miss much. If I can't get there, so be it. There's absolutely no reason to mull over "what if" in any case really, not just what lies at the end of a staircase. If I can't get there, so be it. I'm not missing anything.
5. Semi-agreement on this. They're usually awkward and I've got a friend or two who does this, but it's a non issue (as it probably is for you too). If it's going overboard, then give feedback. Usually no need to.
Mine:
1. Don't open the effin TWO doors for me.
As we've been through in another post, this is one of my favourites. NO. I know you mean well, but I'm sure to let you know if I can't get through one door, thank you.
2. Ha-ha.. I actually go back to #1 and see it's not true at all. I'm jealous as hell for not being able to play team sports as in soccer, ice hockey or anything such. I'm a team player and would like to be a part of competing in a physical sport and chipping in as a a normal team player. Maybe I'd need to find a team sport in which OI wouldn't be a big issue.
3. How can you see through my OI?
I've never socialezed with girls with disabilities, and don't know if I ever can be comfortable with them. Our friends seem to think OI is a non factor, the why can't we? It puzzles me. I don't know if it's me or the world who isn't ready for it (probably both), it just don't add up. I've always gone for them normal girls and probably continue to. It seems that it's harder for me to look through it than others. Or maybe it's just because it's the opposite sex and disabled, I don't think I've got a clue to be honest. (Maybe we should discuss this and plenty of other topics on cup of Facebook coffee, Sandy.)
Hey there thanks for your comment on this. I really do appreciate the perspective of the other gender and also I wish you'd leave me with at least your first name so I could give you a proper thank you! Absolutely I'd be up for a chat about these topics and more. Send me a message to the blog's facebook page or by email: oi.perfect123@gmail.com. Chat ya soon!
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