The Choices within Bone Pain

In a couple of weeks I will be another year older. I will have gone around the sun once more, and I appreciate you all for joining me in this galactic adventure! But there are some things that come with age that I am not so thrilled about, some happenings that I am taking more note of and a little freaked out by. Today I will talk about one of those getting-old-er-things:

Bone pain.

Since O.I. has much to do with the skeletal structure and there are many types of 'bone pains' associated with having O.I. - let me attempt to describe the bone aches that I am talking about.

I imagine it as the start of a dull migraine, but inside a bone as opposed to your noggin. This is the kind of bone ache that is not associated with post-operation roddings, and it is not as urgent as the bone ache associated with a fracture. This is the kind of bone ache that is like a row of perfectly hung family photos, and then there is that one that seems a little tilted to one side or the other. It is annoying, because no matter which way I might shift or move myself - I am rarely able to right things again. It is that knot in your headphones that no one ever knows how it got there; this bone pain is when you finally untangle that knot and that part of the wires lay disgruntled from a rude awakening. Other times it is like an itch that can only be scratched when you crack your knuckles, or when you wiggle your knee in that weird way that feels like it's jumping in and out of the socket. It appears cold, or suddenly hot to the touch, it can pinch, or just hang around dragging its feet along the length of our femurs till it finally shuffles off somewhere in our hips.

These bone aches are usually not detectable by x-ray or MRI, but just because they can't see it doesn't mean we can't feel it - can't know its shape and size, and exactly how to get rid of it if only we could get our fingers *in* there!

The toughest part, for me, when I have bone aches is not letting it get to my mood. The last thing I would want is to be that 20-something who gripes about the ache in my joints, or how the "rains make my wrists hurt.." It is difficult to have the patience for others, or to carry myself in an upbeat manner when I would rather float on a waterbed towards my own private island. Still, in a weird way, learning to manage the bone pain by not letting it get to me is very much a part of how I manage the pain! Distracting myself with work, or forcing myself to be even more present in the moment, and reminding myself that even with the inexplicable aches - I must choose to participate and be engaged in the everyday, because otherwise I would be more annoyed with myself, even more grumpy.

It has yet to get to the point where I resort to popping an ibuprofen and going about my day. It might also be because I do not associate *these* kinds of bone aches with the need to take medication, (I associate pain medications with post-op pains)..the point being, these are all moments that will pass. But when it does pass, will I be able to say "I took part in its passing" or will I be able to say "I watched it pass me by"?
These are not easy decisions to make, despite how frequently it may look like we make these choices. I can only hope that as I get older, there will be more instances where I can make these choices because I am the first to say that I could really use more practice.

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