8 Ways to say "I fractured.."

Something tells me that there are many more than these 8 ways. Because think about it.... how many times have you *actually* had to say the words "I fractured..." before it was already known to the other person? This is particularly true around our family and friends who know us well, the way we communicate when something is iffy happens in a variety of manners. Anyway, you can let me know which other ones are missing in the comments!

1. That Cry.
Just mix in the noise of a scream, cry, and yelp of astonishment with strong emphasis on the apocalyptic wail sound effect. There will be absolutely no mistaking that something very very bad, and very very painful has just happened. I know it, you know it, I know that you know it. That's all there needs to be said.

2. The Statue.
Get very quiet and still. Move as little as possible, slap on a wire thin smile across your face and leave it eerily flat lined for at least an hour. Sooner or later someone will ask you "is something wrong?" This is the time to challenge anyone to a staring contest. 

3. *&^%$
Let out a fluid stream of curse words that are both exclamations of anger, and are also creative adjectives and adverbs for whatever part of your body that decided to fail. Because in that moment suddenly you don't have just one pair of ears, every part of your body has a pair of ears and you're gonna give them all a vehement word lashing if there ever was one! Note to kids: You won't get in trouble this time around, but don't tell them I told you so. 

4. The ESP.
In your quietest and meek voice say "...mom..." or "dad..." Parents have this inner gadget that allows them to know without much explaining on our part. Sometimes this can get us in trouble, but when we need it to work - it's a true savior. 

5. The Pout.
Sit very still in your most sullen manner possible. You could even highlight your moping long face with a pathetic pout. Be sure to place your hands guardedly around the injured area and retreat to some isolated corner of the room, and play the role of an award-winning misanthropic character. 

6. The Glower.
Glare angrily at the oaf who accidentally bumped into you. It's critical that every wrinkle on your face that could possibly be crumpled has clearly done so; and just to ensure that this method of communication is fail-proof be absolutely sure you've stared daggers into the whites of that other person's eyes. 

7. The Suspicion. 
Cower suspiciously away from the hands of strangers that reach out to pick you up, or try to otherwise touch you. Look as though within your body alone you're guarding the answer to the universe. And make it clear that the solution to the age-old quandary most certainly does not involve the participation of this random passersby. 

8. The Self-Centered.
Try to brainstorm ways that involve the world coming to you in every way possible to prevent the need to move. "Can't you just brush my hair for me over here?" "Can't I eat right here in bed?" "Why can't I just go to school on the couch?" "I can give my presentation over the phone!" "Why can't they just bring the entire x-ray machine to my house?" "Can you put lots of pillows around so I don't need to sit all the way up to flip this one to the cold side?" 

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