Things I Have Jammed Down My Cast

*Side Note: I'm not necessarily endorsing these ideas, they are just things that I have put down my cast. Repeat at your own risk!*

  1. Ruler. The wooden ones with the metal or brass edge. Just enough of an edge to itch that impossible spot that always stirs me awake at 2:45AM and then every hour after that.. GOD DAMN IT!
  2. Pen/Pencil/Marker. Because these are on the shorter side they are more effective tools to itch an arm or a short leg cast. The cylindrical shape, for me, doesn't tickle the bottom of my foot in an unbearably gigglish way whenever I resort to this technique. Be careful of tips breaking or losing the caps somewhere in that dark and itchy abyss.
  3. Money. If you have an issue with spending you could always take matters into your own hands by stuffing your budget in there, 2-5 months later and you'll find that you're able to teach yourself self-control! Or if you were a six year old like me and was suspicious of whether or not the piggy bank actually just ingested it all on its own.... 
  4. Coat hanger. Who says that coat hangers are only good for unlocking doors of a car? These suckers can hang that itch in no time! But be make sure you stash it somewhere safe so that your parents don't yell at you when they find a bunch of wrangled coat hangers under your bed. "It was for school..." doesn't exactly fly. 
  5. Freeze chopsticks. I know this sounds really weird so before you go putting your judgy face on, let me explain! One summer I was stuck in a long leg cast and it was sweltering. Like most O.I. people I hate the heat and my body doesn't do well, having an extra 10 pounds of cotton and fiber glass certainly didn't help. I wanted to cool off but I couldn't get my cast wet... so I pilfered a few chopsticks and put them in the freezer, stuck those down my cast and it was instant relief! 
  6. Cotton swabs. I don't know what possessed me to want to add MORE cotton in there but it happened. I put cotton swabs at the end of an un-sharpened pencil and in my mind it was like a soft plow, pushing away all that psycho itchiness somewhere deeper. 
  7. Air. I have literally taken a hair dryer and aimed it down the cast. 
  8. Makeshift hooks. I have bent paper clips out of shape and into the necessary hook form, then tied my 'creation' to shoelace or a string then literally tried to bait that scratch out into the open!
  9. Medicine. Kids can be very innocently literal. I took my pain medication and decided to dump it down there because... well... that was where the pain & itch was! D'UH! 
  10. Lego people. Don't ask, I don't know what I was thinking, don't tell my brothers. But yeah it happened. I think those miniature Lego figurines all hate me now. They've sent word throughout the rest of Lego Kingdom -- warning their brethren of the insane human who has suffocated so many of their fellow beings between skin and fiber glass. (Sometimes they come and haunt me in my dreams!) 

For the most part though I am pretty good about not-itching. Using the O.I.'er Jedi mind-tricks to forget about the itch, or to keep yourself preoccupied is one of those odd quirky skills that I have honed over the years. (Kind of like the way I can bend my tongue into the shape of a four leaf clover!) However, that itching frenzy becomes uncontrollable the second that cast comes off!

Now, tell me what you've jammed down your casts!

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One Response to Things I Have Jammed Down My Cast

  1. Yep. I did the pens/pencils, the coat hangers, and even the straightened out paper clips (my personal favorite, they were always the best for an itch) and yes I even did the hairdryer thing to. Never liked the rulers because they were too big. lol.


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