When I was a year old

I didn't understand why when

Sometimes Mommy and Daddy touched me

It burned, like a scalding pot 

Of boiling tears had just been poured

Down my face.  

When I was two

I didn't understand why when

I went to clap my hands,

One plushy pudgy palm always smashed

Into a prickly and dimpled

Fiber glass cast. And the sound

Was not 'clap clap' but 'thwack thwack.'

When I was three

I didn't understand why when

The neighborhood kids ran

And cheered,

My big brother stayed silent 

And protective. 

When I was four

I didn't understand why when

It was time for recess,

I was always only blowing bubbles

Towards the playground,

Never on it.

When I was five

I didn't understand why when

"Once Upon a Time a Princess...

...Lived happily ever after"

Never looked like me. 

When I was ten

I didn't understand why when

It was time to say "I Pledge Allegiance to the Flag.."

Friends said "You're lucky, you don't have to stand."

When I was eleven

I didn't understand why when

Everyone talked about her roller rink

Birthday Bash Extravaganza,

I had not been invited. 

When I was twelve

I didn't understand why when

My best friend who once saw eye-to-eye with me

Now towered over my head,

Armed with a cool down-swing nod

 And a casual half-smile.

When I was thirteen

I didn't understand why when
I thought I was "sooo kewl"
Everyone else only saw "sooo cute."
When I was fourteen
I didn't understand why when
Pimples and zits could be covered up
Surgical scars could not.
When I was fifteen
I didn't understand why when
Friends had to be certified in CPR for gym,
I swam laps with the "special kids."