Showing posts with label disability self-worth. Show all posts

(Students of U.S. History or the U.S. Constitution/Declaration of Independence will recognize the language I based this off of. For all others, this was based off of the Preamble & introductory texts to the U.S. Declaration of Independence.)

In the course of growing-up as a person with a disability it eventually becomes necessary that I, as an adult who contributes to the well-being of society, assumes ownership and responsibility for this identity; and in so doing formulate my own opinions, thoughts, and actions as having to do with being a proud individual with a disability.

Towards the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness -- I hereby hold these truths to be self-evident for me: that all people are created equal, that we all have certain inalienable rights, that among these are human dignity, a life lived in and for independence, and the progress towards our individual dreams.

These statements are not made in contempt or spawned by an urgent call for revolution, but instead are said out of voluntary self-awareness for change. Change from a paradigm of what was once comfortable acceptance, towards the desire to reconstruct these views of a disabled individual for a more intrinsic and autonomous selfhood. There comes a time when the collection of life's 'what once was' requires a re-evaluation in order to make progress towards our goals. And with that it is also understood that whenever any form of negative attitude, misconception, stereotype, ignorance, or hate becomes a hindrance to these ends -- then I commit to the responsibility to alter or abolish such obstacles to the best of my ability.

There is some amount of self-destruction involved for each time I have shrugged my shoulders, or when I have simply nodded in acceptance of being turned away from or by anything. Certainly it would have been exhausting and even an unrealistic endeavor to take on each confrontation, and even after this is written that would still be the case. Prudence will be exercised during such events as guided by the inherent rights of all people, and by those leaders of the disability community whose efforts and means I am compelled to give my support.
But when a long history and pattern of discrimination, abuse, injustice, inequality, treatment aimed to reduce the dignity and independence of my life hints itself -- it is my right, my duty, to abrogate such acts in the hopes that some other disabled individual of posterity may face less treatment so base in nature.

The paradigm of change that this statement was created to enact is made to ensure the security of success towards the progress of my dreams, and by doing so the dreams of those who will come after me. An awareness for change now is what spurs this statement today, but it is the hope for a lasting change that I would like for this statement to continue holding a truth for someone else.

Such have been my general experiences as a young adult with a disability; and such is now the necessity which has led me to alter my perceptions of the life of a disabled person I once subscribed to.

I the proud individual with a disability, and member of the disability community, in order to form a more perfect Self-Identity, establish Self-Respect, insure Inclusion, provide for the common Understanding, promote the general Acceptance, and secure the Pride and Power of disability to myself and posterity - do ordain and establish this Declaration of Being Disabled for Me.

Alright, I will try. I will try to explain myself during those moments I have had as a child, as a teen, and as a young adult. Maybe it will aid in clarifying the fog for that other person. Maybe it will help you understand why your spouse, child, friend, grandson is thinking these thoughts. Enough with the maybe's already, I won't know until I try:

"It's my fault that mom cries so much..." "It's my fault that we can't go anywhere fun this summer.." "It's my fault that dad has to work so much.." "It's my fault that we are taking so long.." "It's my fault dad has trouble lifting me and the cast.."
Why did I do this? Why did I think these thoughts? Because it was, and is, so easy. It happens with such speed and ease that when I really think about what just crossed my mind - it is a little disturbing I can get there that quickly.

When I was a child it was the simple explanation that would morph into some uglier thing in my head. The simple explanation was usually something like, "it's not safe for you to do this..." and of course somewhere in my screaming tantrums that translated to: "you have brittle bones and the consequence is you cannot do this." That wasn't the reality of the situation at all! O.I. was never used as a negative consequence when I was growing-up - it was never presented to me that way. However, in the world-view of a child everything is black-and-white; my perception of reality was clear-cut and concrete, I had no ability to think about anything other than what was five feet in front of me. So began the phase of "it's not fair!" 
Recognizing that something "is not fair!" essentially acknowledges that there is an alternative that would be preferable; however, that alternative is not attainable or allowable. In other words these were my teen years. For any thing I was not allowed to do my brain schemed of ways to do it anyway, just more hidden or away from prying eyes. My teen years were riddled with alternative-half-cracked solutions I jimmied up. But I did some of those things because it was my way of not having to deal with the reality; I refused to accept any part of me that prevented me from doing what everyone else did. In my mind I thought that if I did accept myself, I would be facing some alien I was too cool to give the time of day to. I didn't realize that facing myself wouldn't make who I was my fault. Whatever foresight my tunnel-vision managed to obscure did not let me see that my differences did not exist in order to be blamed.
Through some series of events and life experiences I got tired of playing Bugs Bunny. I got tired of always trying to escape from the traps, from being the clown with a trick or twelve up her sleeves - always at the ready to slip away. So I have begun to take the time to see what the heck is in the mirror when I look at my reflection. Some days it is easier to do than others; some days I am lazy and would rather not take the effort to grapple with what's in front of me. Some days I still mumble "it's not fair, if only I weren't..." and I get this immediate sense of coziness, because that is what I grew-up saying for so many years. It's cozy not because it 'fits' with how I see myself now, but it is cozy because that was a saying throughout my childhood - there is a great familiarity for me in that mentality. It's still so easy to do.

In between all of this, of course I had family, friends, teachers, etc. who said "this isn't your fault.." "don't think like that, you didn't ask for this.." "don't blame yourself, you can't help the way things are.."  And usually I would respond with a tireless huff and a long drawn out "I KNOooooowww-uhhh" like a foghorn warning away the obvious.. because I did in fact know I was not to blame; I knew that the explanation was much more complicated than that, and that it had to do with making babies, genetics, and other weird things.
But just as I eventually grew-up and learned (am still learning) how to accept/manage the things I get thrown, it might be helpful for someone out there -- if the individuals in that person's life... also learned to accept the reality of these thoughts. Because chances are that they will be thought regardless of what we are told by our loved ones. Acknowledging that such thoughts do wander in and out during various life stages just might help that person try a little less fleeing, and try a little more growing. Now it's your turn: You won't know until you try.

Forget the dictionary definitions, and that goose-bumps moment you get after hearing a motivational speaker, or seeing a moving piece on a local hero on the 10 o'clock news. I want to know what it means for you to be inspired; what does it mean when you cross paths with someone inspirational? Here is what it means for me:
When I am inspired it means that I am encouraged and motivated to try harder. It means that I believe in myself a little bit more than I did a few minutes ago, it means that I have just witnessed an example of someone else trying harder - and the outcome of what that led to. It means that I have just been lucky enough to add another instance of possibility to my archives of possibility examples. So when I flip back into my brain and come across the word 'Inspire, Inspirational' the little card in my mind reads: Please see 'possibility' ... and then like a Google search hundreds of hits on moments, images, individuals, and life experiences pop-up in my mind.